Sunday, September 3, 2017

Solo-Jogja Trip

Sunday, September 03, 2017 Posted by lia No comments
I went to Solo for the first time few weeks ago. I went with a group of people who went there for hiking, but since I don't do hiking I just stayed in the city and joined them again when they finished the hike. We got there at 7 or 8pm, and spent the night together as we ate dinner while catching up with one of our friends who lives in Solo. The hiking group left at 3am in the morning, while I continued to sleep and my solo trip in Solo got started.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Random Thoughts

Thursday, August 03, 2017 Posted by lia No comments
It's been a long time since my last post. I wanted to post something regularly every month, but I haven't been able to keep it. It's not that I'm that busy, it's just that I don't know what to post. I was wondering recently, why did I started this blog? Why did it write what I write? What has been my intention? For other people to read, for myself to keep, for other reason? It's the same with posting in social media. Why have I been doing it? There's this thought that pop up in my mind sometimes to just close them down, but then I kept cancelling it at the end. Silly girl.

We sometimes don't know ourselves that well. Or probably we just don't wanna admit certain things that we already know about ourselves. We are in denial and that makes us lost ourselves. We get confused and we are afraid. Afraid of people's judgment, afraid of our own judgment. Afraid of making mistakes, afraid of being blamed.

I don't know why I keep thinking and posting about stuff like this. Am I too emo? It's probably because I have too much free time. Haha!

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Renovation Process

Thursday, March 02, 2017 Posted by lia No comments
Did you ever go through a house renovation before? I went through that more than 5 years ago as we renovated our house. It was crazy messy. We didn't move to another house temporarily at that time, but we stayed in the house as it got renovated. Dust was everywhere. Our stuff got moved here and there, stacked packed in every corner. Our house only has one floor and it's not that big. When the guys were working on the other side of the house including our bedroom, we slept in the living room, moved out the bed and all the stuff there. Me, my sister, and my mom slept there together squishing uncomfortably everyday. Thankfully I was younger that I didn't have back pain and my sister was much much smaller than she is right now. I can't imagine if I have to do it now. I remember one day it was raining really hard and the roof was leaking as we were sleeping, and at the same time we were worried that it would flood. Horrible! Thankfully it's all done since few years ago and we can live more comfortably as we don't have to think about the flood anymore. It was the main reason why we got it renovated.

Look at Jakarta right now, especially in Sudirman road where they are building MRT. The traffic got really really really really awful since the process was started. The road gets smaller but the number of the car keeps increasing. I can't wait until that day come when MRT starts to work and gets used by people. As for now we all can only be patient and hoping that those who are working on it will make it right and fast.

That process of renovation and fixing something most of the time is messy and hard and uncomfortable, especially when you still have to live in it. You try to organize and manage and adapt so that somehow you still can live and do the activities that you usually do. Doing a renovation is an option. You have the choice to stay comfortable up to a certain point in the old way, and to not go through all the painful uncomfortable process, yet not getting better in any way. Or you can choose to go through that crazy messy dusty process with the hope that one day when it's finished you'll see something better, much much much better than all the pain that you have gone through.

And yeah, I think this life is somehow a renovation process also. Only if you choose that process.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

For a moment

Tuesday, February 14, 2017 Posted by lia No comments


For a moment I forgot that You are my creator
For a moment I forgot that You are the creator of the whole universe
I suddenly feel so scared
Who am I to go against You?

For a moment I forgot that people are sinners
For a moment I forgot that they do mistakes
I suddenly feel so relieved
Why did I demand so much from them?

                 You never be at fault of people's mistakes
                 You are blamed probably because it's harder to deal with them
                 I'm too tired, too bitter, too discouraged, too lonely

For a moment I forgot that You are the source of peace and rest
For a moment I forgot that it's about you, not about me, nor them
I suddenly feel so hopeful
Where else best would I go to if it's not you?


Wednesday, February 8, 2017

"Used to"

Wednesday, February 08, 2017 Posted by lia No comments

Some people think it's a history
Some people think it's a legacy
Some people think it's a memory
Some others think it's nothing

Some are proud of it
Some are embarrassed
Some regret it
Some others don't care

Depends on what they used to do
Also depends on what they do now


Wednesday, December 28, 2016

The hardest

Wednesday, December 28, 2016 Posted by lia No comments

"This is the hardest year that I've ever had." I've been saying this quite often through out this year. When I really think about it, looking back to the year before, and the year before, and the year before, and keep going backward, I probably said the same thing every year, which means that each year is hard (and might be the hardest up to that year--although not always), and that only means that year after year life never gets any easier.

Is it that bad? Why does it sound so miserable? You might ask. Don't get me wrong, of course there were things that get easier as time goes by. When I get along with people, when I feel comfortable with the environment, when I was able have fun traveling and meet new people, when I can do my work better, when the weight of my responsibility get lighter, when I passed my transition phase, when I can support my family better, when my sister is getting older and we can have a better conversation, and many many more. Yet I can't deny that there's always at least one thing that's hard in different area in life that could happen, whether it's financial situation, relationship with people, working life, health issue, life transition, family issue, dealing with yourself, or anything else.

I probably would say the same thing next year again--although I truly hope I won’t--but if that really happen later, it shouldn’t be a surprise.

...

Currently I'm watching a TV Drama called "Goblin". Here's one quote that was said by one of the characters:

"If it’s really true that god only gives you as much hardship as you can endure, I wonder if he hasn’t overestimated me."

I'm not saying that all of this character's perspective is true. But I think this is an honest expression of how sometimes everything just seems so heavy and you suffer so much that you feel like you can't handle it anymore.

And this is what P. Eric said in his sermon this past Sunday regarding to suffering:

What you need in the trenches of suffering is not more discipline, more positive thinking, or more amnesia.  What you need is a deeper understanding and focus on Jesus Christ—what he has done and what he will do.  You need the assurance that Christ will make all things right in the end because he himself has overcome the world.  You need the assurance that Christ will not allow your suffering to be endless or meaningless, but it will end and he will win.  You are not on a losing team.  Christ endured the cross before he entered into his glory. And though you may feel like you’re losing at life now, you must know that Christ will come back and raise you up in his glory.  In the end, he will make all things right.

Such an encouragement!

...

I hope in this upcoming year I can strive better with joy that come from above.


Friday, November 18, 2016

Tricky Humans

Friday, November 18, 2016 Posted by lia No comments

Humans are so tricky
We make plans and we fail them
We make promises and we break them

Talking is always easier than doing
Thinking is simpler than making it happen
Our imagination is bigger than our effort

Trying to love yet hurting at the end
Wanting things so badly yet forgetting the needs
Desiring to change yet avoiding the costly process

Instant gratification beats the good feeling after hard work 
Oh foolishness, why are you so sticky with humans' minds?

Comfort confuses us
Difficulty wavers us

Look into yourself, you'd find it messy
Look into the news, this world is messy
Look around, you'll find another messy creature covered up nicely

Is this negativity?
Or is this the reality?

Let's say it's negative reality
With the hope that there's positive reality
There is, of course
You just don't think about it much when you're in a slump

Oh, how we can't help ourselves